I remember back when I was about 3 or 4 telling everyone that I would one day adopt a child. I can’t explain how or why I felt this way; I don’t believe I knew anyone who was adopted and it wasn’t really anything we talked about at home. I just knew it was something I had to do; I also knew I wanted a big family with at least four children.
From the beginning of our relationship, Todd was on board with the big family, he just wasn’t so sure about the whole adoption thing. It’s not that he had anything against kids, he just didn’t know if he would be able to attach to them the same as he would to his own biological children. It was a valid point and no one wants to put a child in a situation where they feel unloved by a parent, so we waited.
We were fortunate enough to have our own biological miracle three years after we were married. Derrick Anthony entered the world on August 10, 1994 and made us the happiest parents on the planet. We always assumed we’d give him a sibling a few years later and possibly a few more a few years after that. Well, you know what they say about assuming… God definitely had other plans for us.
After a decade of trying in vain to have another child, we sought the counsel and help of a fertility specialist. We exhausted all our options, except for IVF. We just didn’t have an extra $10,000 to spend on a procedure that might or might not work. It was heartbreaking to realize that we would never be able to have another biological child together. At the time, Todd was still very unsure about adoption but was willing to consider it if it would allow us to have the family we’d always wanted. It would still be years before we could make it happen though.